A Self-Destructive Life Style Is Not Our Identity

Def Con II Meeting Experience

In the past, I have had the opportunity of experiencing a self-destructive meeting where I observed the following.

  • the meeting invite included multiple business and IT personnel
  • the meeting invite included no agenda
  • the meeting purpose was about eliciting business requirements for a system change
  • the focus for the bulk of the meeting by the leader was …
    • on the technical solution that already existed
    • on hearing the leader defend the solution
    • on how the new changes would make the system run slower
    • on how the new changes would make the user experience horrible
    • on how the new changes did not conform to the existing solution
    • on the HOW instead of the WHAT
  • from the business user perspective
    • the meeting invite did not provide an agenda or prep guidance
    • the meeting did not build on the existing business/IT partnership
    • the meeting leader was
      • talking/demanding more than listening
      • not taking any notes
      • not asking open-ended questions to understand the business context
      • not asking closed-ended questions to nail down specifics
      • was focused on the HOW and not the WHAT
      • saying “no” with both words and body language
      • was saying the “system would run slower” because of the proposed changes
      • was not interested in the business user perspective
      • not helping all attendees understand the larger group requirements
      • wasting everyone’s precious time
      • basically set us on a course to Def Con II

This saying by Benjamin Franklin is so true, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”. There was definitely a lack of planning involved here!

Collateral Damage

This meeting debacle got me thinking of other potential areas of our lives that could also be self-destructive. If due-diligence and planning do not take place in our personal lives as well, are we simply a victim of our circumstances or can we really control some aspect of what we must endure or enjoy each day? Can we chose? Do our choices matter?

Recognize The Signs

Are there daily habits in areas of our lives that are counter-productive and ultimately self-destructive to ourselves, our relationships, our work environment and our personal lives? What I found is that basically the same things that are self-destructive at work are the result of self-destructive habits in our personal lives … view the 12 Signs of Self-Destructive People.


Don’t let a self-destructive life style spill over into a self-destructive work environment. The secret to change is in our daily routine.

The 3 Step Program

  • Make a Choice
  • Intentionally Develop a Plan of Action
  • Execute Changes Daily

Develop a healthy routine that impacts everyone around you with a positive, productive and “can do” attitude.

Enjoy your day!

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